Separate But Equal

I’ll admit. I have a major prejudice. I know in this day and age such a notion is beyond shocking. But I just can’t help myself. When I see one my skin crawls. When one sits next to me I get up and move. But this hatred has nothing to do with race, creed, sex, or age. No. The group I hate are smokers. You see smokers have become the bane of my day. I can’t understand for the life of me why people do it.

Let’s forget for a minute the well documented health issues. Have you people smelled yourself? I’d rather spend a weekend in a port-a-potty than spend 5 minutes on a train next to someone fresh off a cigarette. I’ll never get over a seemingly attractive woman so obviously concerned with appearance and body image that flushes it all away by smelling like a rancid, burned piece of raccoon meat. It’s bad enough that they smell, but now they have to get their foul odor on everyone else. It’s always nice to shower and smell nice and than have it ruined ten minutes after going out a night because someone near you had to light up.

But okay for whatever reasons smokers have decided to live with the fact that they stink worse than a diaper waste bin and have the breath of a homeless crack addict. I get it. They’re people, and they deserve rights. I don’t support a ban of smoking. If they want to do it, they should be able to. But then again, we have our rights too. So I suggest a simple solution. Separate but equal.

Give smokers their own worlds. They’re own sanctuary complete with grocery store, shopping mall, hospital, movie theatre, post office, auto garage, bar, restaurant, bakery, banquet hall, salon, museum, Laundromat, transportation, arena, and all the works. The same things that we have in our towns. But this way they can keep the smell to themselves. I won’t have to shower a second time each day. I won’t have to do wash every 3 days to keep the stink from my smoke infested clothes from getting in the rest of the house. It won’t be bad. They’ll be treated just the same.

Sure there could be pitfalls. Intermarriage of a non-smoker and a smoker comes to mind. But I guess they’ll just have too choose a side if they’re love is that strong. I welcome them to have that right. But it’s time to take action, and at least try this out. What’s the worst that could happen? Fresh air?